| I don't know |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|09:30 pm] |
I don't know if anyone reads or updates this anymore. At first glance it seems many of my previous friends have deleted their accounts. And as you know, I haven't done a thing here in a while. So now I'm linking you here--
Wait, don't get upset, it's not another stupid blog where I'm going to be occasionally ranting and disappearing for long periods of time. This is strictly for me to post my writing, essays and maybe some short stories, probably accompanied by photographs. And I'm not talking about boring, school or research related essays or anything. This is purely entertainment. So please, bookmark and spread this link, because I'm out of college, with little to no skills in life and I need something to hold on to. ;)
http://grizzledxveteran.wordpress.com |
|
|
| if i was |
[May. 28th, 2008|12:34 am] |
|
just a few years further in my life, graduated, starting a career, living on my own...i'd fight for her myself. I really would. maybe someday I could. |
|
|
| I'm a little bit |
[May. 27th, 2008|07:20 am] |
afraid to be home by myself at the moment. I'm even more afraid to leave my sister here alone. That crazy bitch has a key to our house. You know, because she used to be someone we trusted. Kind of like...a cousin. I need to talk to a lawyer and find out how we can get her away from us.
In other news, a rainbow today would be nice, but I'm afraid there probably won't be enough sun. Last week there was a huge rainbow. I don't know where it "ended" but it "started" at the Outback steak house. I believe it was a sure sign; eat more steak. I intend to follow it's instruction. |
|
|
| Memorial Day |
[May. 26th, 2008|11:21 pm] |
Last year on Memorial Day [28th] a beautiful newly wed girl was raped, murdered and her and her home were set on fire to cover it up.
One year is so strange. I feel like it happened yesterday because after she was murdered the case went on for so long. Her murderer, Chris Bayer was only sentenced a few months ago [oh, you know. for about 4 years. hooray for justice]. Anniversary's like this usually don't affect me so much but it did. I sat up for a while trying to calm my stomach, then I drove past both the house she lived in when she was killed as well as the house she grew up in about a million times. I tried not to think about how when I found out about this last year my best friend abandoned me because he couldn't handle the stress of someone needing HIM. I failed. But now, I'm feeling a little calmer and I'm thinking of better things, happier things. Cause Laura would straight punch me in the face for being upset.
When we were real little, in like second grade we went to summer camp at Tamarac elementary. She was older and I was a little wimpy shrimp. She convinced me to cut out of camp and go to her house. I got scared, because I was innocent and silly and I went back. I got in trouble. Laura laughed at me.
In the 7th grade [8th for her] Laura and I were going to be rappers. I have evidence somewhere on a cassette tape. We also loved taco bell more than anyone should. And prank phone calls. Yes. Yes.
In early high school Laura and I told everyone that we were cousins, for fun. People genuinely believed this to be true, and so we created elaborate stories of relatives and family parties. It got complicated.
Once, we snuck out of her house to go to the Tamarac playground and play baseball. I threw a...urm...'ball' and she got angry and threw the bat at my head. I matrixed the hell out of it, and we were all better.
She 'taught' me how to give oral sex. Not on her, no. In the back of a movie theater after we snuck in, she showed me on a lollipop. I actually stick pretty well to what she showed me, except for the part where she bit it at the end. I figure that's not the best idea.
There's so much more. siiiigh.
This weekend was actually really great. Friends from all walks of my life showed up to each party, most of the greatest ones coming to more than one =). The first night was insane. Cars were parked around the corner and down the block. There was a tiny bit of drama at the end, but that's ok. It happens. Beer pong was constant and alcohol was never ending.
The second night was a tad smaller, and I was a bit more broke. Pong still happened though, and there were so many good people. The end of that night was probably my favorite part, just chillin with 3 very cool cats till I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
Third night was a mixture of totally awesome and horrible. The totally awesome part was that I had just a small group of some of my very favorites over, and we drank wine and roasted marshmallows over the fire. We made s'mores. Dana Matt and KristAn came, and I haven't seen them in ages. It was so nice to see them. So nice. The horrible part was that in the very beginning of the night my older cousin who lives next door took advantage of my sister and younger cousin and their friends, using them to drive her wasted ass to go cheat on her husband. She had a mental breakdown when my sister and cousin decided to leave with or without her. She called me, threatening me and my sister and traumatizing her daughter, who I had to take care of once again. It's a long story, and it just came at a...bad time.
btw Lupus is teh suxxors, or whatever people say. It's becoming quite the annoyance.
This post was a long hard bitch. Sorry about that. I'll post one about sunshine and rainbows tomorrow. |
|
|
| I got kicked out of mville |
[May. 19th, 2008|11:23 pm] |
|
my life is interesting. Very interesting. Parties this summer, at my house. Starting on Friday, at 10pm. Be there, bring alcohol if you can, if not just bring some fun. Just as long as you're there. |
|
|
| Another one bites the dust |
[May. 1st, 2008|04:38 am] |
So, another year done. Well, just about. And I suppose it's about time for my annual end-of-year post! I know you're all very excited. Keep your pants on for this one, or don't. Either way I'll still be naked. So let's take a look first at the highlights from this year, shall we?
Change of scenery. Opposed to the mundane, yet still enjoyable past two years of Matt, James and I getting wasted in the dark every night, refusing to speak to others, those two boys lived this year in a suite with 4 others who loved to party. The legend of Turkey 2-5 was built quickly, and continues on. Imagine, me, partying. Not just drinking. Partying.
Just say we were lovers and we'll call it even
We'll call it even
New friends. That's right, James, Matt and I branched out. We have what you might call a fairly large circle now. Impressive, yes, we know.
Coheed and Cambria. My obsession of course lives on as strong as ever, with a more complete comic collection in my possession and the newest album released frequently in my mind. Early last semester Matt and I decided on a whim (a real whim, the kind that happens when you're so drunk you don't remember making the decision) to go see Coheed in Philidelphia. We did so, and the adventure of it was great. Claudio's hair? Yes, it was epic.
Yeah but you say a lot of things, and how does that work? You're a bicycle.
Sick. A new and interesting medical rollercoaster began early last semester. I believe it's coming to a slow, about to stop. Yet, much like the fear I have on any coaster-type ride, I'm praying it's not one of those rides that will now start to move backwards.
Face down in the dirt, she says "this doesn't hurt." She says, "I've finally had enough."
Carvel: no more. During the winter Jeanne was hit with major financial problems and had to sell the store in a desperate flash. The new owners seem...well, certainly the worst of the three I'd been through. They decided they wouldn't need me, since I was back and forth to school and they were going to make up 3 out of the five employees you could really need. So, what, 6 years? It's been fun.
Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams
House parties. Meghan Denise and I were the hosts with the mosts. Between Christmas, New Years, and pretty much any weekend my parents went away we were the people to call if you needed somewhere to get drunk, laugh and be around the best of the best. This summer? Expect the same, 3 fold.
Ten seconds left until midnight
nine chances to drown ourselves in black hair dye
eight faces turned away from the shock
seven windows and
six of them were locked
five stories falling
forever and ever
three cheers to the mirror
now there are two of us
can we have one last dance?
Boy. I "met" one. Well, I knew him from before. It's strange, but I think...maybe...
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
Vagina Monologues. I was finally in another real production and it was an amazing experience. A group of real, talented, fun gals sharing funny stories, painful stories and just your everyday things. And at the end, we got to do something that really mattered. To all of us as women, and to a few of us personally. We donated a great amount of money to help women who had survived rape. In short, hell yes.
Marijuana. Heck, to a small few it was my nickname in high school. Never had a sip of alcohol before Freshman year but I'd smoked more weed than the 70's. Now? Haven't smoked since circa November. Don't really see myself pickin' it back up anytime soon. It was so unbelievably easy to give up the very first day, but I continue to miss it. Honestly? I was funnier.
Now, my flow
Is in the pocket like wallets, I got the bounce like hydrolics
I can't call it, I got the swerve like alcoholics
My freshman year I was going through hell, a problem
Still I, built up the nerve to drop my ass up outta college
My teacher said I'm a loser, I told her why don't you kill me
I give a fuck if you fail me, I'm gonna follow
My heart, and if you follow the charts, to the plaques or the stacks
You ain't gotta guess who's back, you see
I'm so Chi that you thought it was bashfull but this bastard's flow will bash a skull
And I will, cut your girl like Pastor Troy
And I don't usually smoke but pass the 'dro
And I won't give you that money that you asking for
Why you think, me and Dame cool? we're assholes!
That's why we hear, your music in fast forward
'cause we don't wanna here that weak shit no more
Challenge.
I'm an aunt, twice over now. After a tremendously disturbing incident, one of my bests in the world has created the most beautiful baby girl. Anastasia, Aunt Diana loves you so much. She makes me sad that my blood niece (and brother and sister in law) live far away.
I will call you out from shelter (Dear Ambellina, the Prise wishes you to watch over me)
burn your wings you'll know no better (burn your wings)
I will call you out from shelter (Dear Ambellina...) (I will call you out) burn your wings and learn their letters (...to watch over me)
Radio. The new station was built this year, and being that all of my closet friends are in charge of the station I decided to dive in and get myself a show. It turned out to be more than just a blast. I've interviewed the president of the college, a leader in community service a representative of the UN and a very interesting musical project from the surrounding area. Turns out, people really dig my show. Next semester, get ready cause I'll have....INTERNS.
Friends. I ought to tell you, mine are certainly better than yours.
We are, we are all innocent. We are.
And now let me humor you, or myself rather with a picture of some things to come this summer. Interested?
First and foremost, the only thing that ever mattered in Australia will be coming to the states and more importantly to New York. Thank you.
Old and New Friends galore.
Scavenger hunt across Long Island. Massive, followed by drunk at my house parties.
Denise, and Meghan. Nuff sed.
Brooklyn, BX
AHRC. New Job working with Developmentally Disabled youths. I'm so happy. So. Happy.
Go east on Sunrise Highway,
Turn left at Carmen's Avenue,
Go right at the first stoplight,
And I'll be outside waiting for you,
Oh, I'll be waiting for you
I'll have to say that although the year has been up and down and left and right I feel I can at least say I can regret nothing. I say something to that affect often because it's the one thing that I feel helps redeem any other things I may not be happy with. At least I have that. At least I don't regret one damn thing. =) I'm such a winner.
Oh, and by the way, my book is coming along nicely. Perhaps by the end of summer there will be drafts for ya'll to look at, if ya want to.
Your favorite, my favorite, Lifehouse's favorite,
Diana |
|
|
| Best friends means friends forever |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|08:05 pm] |
I have the greatest friends in the world. I know it's a very cliche thing to say, and I say it a lot! But, it's so very true. The end of the semester is coming up real quick. And, as with each summer comes the sadness of leaving Matt and James to their own corners of the country. As well as the new friends we made this year. But thinking about that makes me think of one friendship in particular that stands out from the rest. My friendship with Jon. Yeah, yeah. Jon Sills. A friendship of about six years, and probably the most genuine male/female friendship I have. People criticize us a lot. I could never really figure out why. I used to try to defend it, but then I realized we had nothing to defend. There are people that hate him. There are people that hate me. But no matter what anybody ever said we had and always will have each other. We don't lie to each other about what our friendship is about. We love each other so much and I'm so proud that he calls me his best friend.
Upside to the summer coming: Super amounts of time with Meghan and Denise, Jon, Mil and hopefully spending some nice times with some of those friends I don't see too often.
Scavenger hunt. Yes, please. |
|
|
| Writer's Block: Here's the Skinny... |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|01:15 am] |
This is weird. But of course I've been skinny dipping. I think it's one of the greatest joys life has to offer and whenever I meet someone that never has been skinny dipping I feel like I should convert them somehow. However creepy that may be. In fact, I haven't been swimming IN a bathing suit in a long long time. I also don't go swimming very often, but when I do you best believe it's the RIGHT way.
oh. will I have a nervous breakdown before the end of this semester? Yes. Yes I will. |
|
|
| I'm being torn |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|05:55 am] |
|
between my everlasting love for being a player, and my newfound desire for those...like...relationship, things. |
|
|
| Eh. |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|08:48 pm] |
|
I'm sick. And I miss Laura. I'm extremely pissed about the way people at large have been acting. No respect for the deceased. No respect for the living. There is just a general lack of human compassion. Like those girls that invited their best friend over and beat her mercilessly so that they could get famous on youtube. The world needs some sort of massive moral makeover. And that's coming from me. A stoner-drunk-bisexual-player-virgin slayer. And I think we need some new morals. |
|
|
| RADIO SHOW! |
[Mar. 2nd, 2008|07:08 pm] |
Okay you guys...I'm about to start my radio show weekly...Got it?
Wednesdays from 9pm to 11pm....If you are in the purchase area you can listen to 88.1fm on the radio...but if you're not
go to www.wmvlradio.com to listen online! The new station is awesome and so am I! |
|
|
| Vagina Monologues! Roxxors! |
[Jan. 30th, 2008|05:14 pm] |
My Short Skirt
is not an invitation
is not begging for it
it does not want you to rip it off me
my short skirt, believe it or not has nothing to do with you
February 14th, 15th, 16th all at 8pm. Let me know and I'll get you tix |
|
|
| My Short Skirt |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|08:12 pm] |
Valentines Day weekend, the 14th, 15th and 16th of February at 8:00: The Vagina Monologues at Manhattanville College. Our fund raiser this year is SAFER, which benefits rape victims. All of the money goes to them. I'm performing My Short Skirt and am also in They Beat the Girl Out of My Boy which is about a group of transwomen. Please come see and support if you can! It would be soooo swell! We have a really great cast of girls this year, I'm really excited.
kloveyou bye |
|
|
| Little random things |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|08:08 pm] |
So this semester has been interesting. I'm actually having a really good one in most areas, it's just that there's been some bad stuff on my mind throughout...whatever.
I got into this years performance of the vagina monologues, which is really exciting and I can't wait to get really going with it. All the girls in it are fabulous and it's such an amazing show. If any of you want to come see it it's going to be valentines day weekend, the 14th 15th and 16th. <3
The other night was the improv show "Stereotypes". It's just a semester fund raiser that makes money to send under-privileged kids to see a show in the city. It was actually really funny this time around, and I got a lot of compliments which was nice.
Today I just sat alone in my room all day watching tbs. Whatever, that's cool. |
|
|
| 2007 |
[Oct. 22nd, 2007|02:36 am] |
|
SOX ROCKIES WHAT THE FUCK IS UP?!?!?!? LET'S DO THIS!!!!!! |
|
|
| can't sleep |
[Oct. 12th, 2007|07:53 am] |
THIRTEEN THINGS YOU LOVE:(in no specific order)
1. day dreaming
2. coloring with markers
3. peter pan
4. claudio sanchez and everything he does
5. dancing in my room
6. singing
7. sex
8. drugs
9. music
10. theater
11. my friends
12. talking to people
13. fighting, for fun
TWELVE MOVIES: (not in any order)
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2. Fight Club
3. Trainspotting
4. Peter Pan
5. The Princess Bride
6. Spaceballs
7. The Labyrinth
8. Hook
9. The 40 Year Old Virgin
10. Pans Labyrinth
11. The Neverending Story
12. Muppet Treasure Island
ELEVEN GOOD BANDS: (If I restrict this to bands it will be pathetic)
1. Killswitch Engage
2. Brand New
3. Ben Folds
4. Billy Joel
5. Kanye West
6. Journey
7. The Dredson Dolls
8. Imogen Heap
9. Coheed and Cambria
10. Weezer
11. The Ramones
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU:
1. I have an unnatural obsession with Peter Pan
2. I think smoking weed is fantastic and I've been doing it since Middle School
3. I go to college, and it's pretty great
4. I have a pretty uncensored mouth
5. I am petrified of needles
6. I am so grossed out by hair that it's a little silly
7. I love to give massages so much
8. Overall, I didn't think that Borat was that funny of a movie
9. I love to be affectionate
10. I can never spend enough time with my friends
NINE GOOD FRIENDS:
1. Denise
2. Meghan
3. Lee
4. Jon
5. Matt
6. James
7. Stevo
8. Ryan
9. Patrick
EIGHT FAVORITE FOODS/DRINKS:
1. Sushi
2. Mashed Potatos
3. Corned Beef and Cabbage
4. Shepherds pie
5. Mac and Cheese
6. salmon
7. Iced Green tea
8. Hard Apple Cider
SEVEN THINGS YOU WEAR DAILY:
1. under wear
2. pants
3. shirt
4. bra
5. shoes
6. deodorant
7. ummm...seriously that's about it
SIX THINGS THAT YOU HATE:
1. kids
2. needles
3. people who are pushy
4. Blind faith
5. that there are sick people with no health care
6. radio commercials
FIVE THINGS YOU DO DAILY:
1. Sleep
2. Listen to music
3. Eat
4. breathe
5. talk to myself
FOUR TELEVISION SHOWS YOU WATCH:
1. Scrubs
2. Yes, Dear
3. King Of Queens
4. Just Shoot Me
THREE THINGS YOU WANT:
1. to Not have to go to the doctor today
2. to see Jon
3. For meghans hands not to hurt her anymore
TWO THINGS YOU SAY OFTEN:
1. fuckin
2. yeah dude
ONE PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH:
blind pick pretty much anyone off that good friends list and that could probably be fine with me |
|
|
| Interesting |
[Oct. 10th, 2007|12:49 pm] |
|
Lately I have been having massive anxiety attacks all the god damned time. I would greatly appreciate it if they would stop. They made my weekend visit home really hard to deal with, even though I loved seeing Meg and Denise. And last night they ruined a perfectly good Tuesday. And now I'm sitting here hating myself for letting these stupid things get the best of me, instead of being in the cafeteria eating sushi with my fucking friends. Now I'm going to go talk to a counselor so she can tell me a bunch of shit I already know about myself. Seriously, this better end soon. |
|
|
| I think |
[Sep. 30th, 2007|05:30 pm] |
|
I think that it is so funny (not funny) that there are still so many insanely stupid people in this world (this country, this state). I always forget that people are still so ignorant that they REALLY TRULY believe that homosexuality is wrong (that women are inferior, that people of color are inferior, etc). I mean, there are so many people that really really think these things are true with their whole hearts. And I find that so hilarious (it makes me want to set myself on fire). I was just admiring how funny that Chris Crocker guy is, and loving every minute of it (because it's fucking comedy. That's it.) and you would not believe how many people took it as a chance to preach against homosexuality! First of all: this is not the place. Whether Chris Crocker is completely real or completely fake I don't know, but they are funny videos to be taken lightly. It's not a place to start a revolution. Second of all: where did these people go to school? Grow up? I mean, I went to church and school and daycare etc with everyone else in my town, yet some people mysteriously ended up truly believing that being interested in the same sex will get you a one way ticket to Hell. Were there secret meetings that only certain kids were allowed to go to where they showed videos of homos eating the brains of children? I know, I know...if it's not the teachers or the church, it's the parents probably...but I mean we're everywhere all the time, just doing all the normal things that everyone else does...they should maybe realize that (just like those pesky women, people of color, etc...) we're just people? You know, no big deal? What exactly is so hard about getting that? I think maybe I'm being a little hard on them. But I really just get so surprised every time I re-realize that these people are actually real. Like, they're serious. |
|
|
| a stupid survey |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|02:35 pm] |
01. Raised in: Holbrook, NY
02. Planned baby: noooo
03. Birth date : June 10th
04. Any siblings: big brother, little sister
06. Hair color: brown
07. Hair length: short
08. First school: Tamarac
09. Eye color: brown
10. Shoe size: 7 1/2 8ish
11. Mood: chill
12. Height: 5ft
13. Lefty/righty: Righty
LOVE LIFE:
Do you remember your first real relationship: haha how could I forget
Shortest relationship: ended before it began
Have you ever been heartbroken: surely
Are you liking someone now: maaaybe
Have you ever fallen for a friend: story of my life lol
Are you afraid of commitment: not afraid I just don't like it
Do you believe in love at first sight: ahh...not really no
THIS OR THAT:
01. Love or money: love, but it doesn't have to be that really gay kind
02. Hard liquor or beer: depends on my mood
03. One night stands or relationships: hahaha depends, how good is that one night stand?
04. Television or internet: internet, probs
05. Pepsi or coke: they are seriously both the same
06. Fun night out or romantic night in: probably fun night out, occasionally the latter, maybe
07. Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
08. Phone or in person: in person, phones are gross
09. Aim or myspace: aim
10. Family or friends?: they are one in the same
01. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? yea heh... no fun
02. Have you ever skinny dipped? haha yea back in the day
03. Have you ever done something you regret? nah, not really
04. Have you ever been on a house boat? no, i wish
05. Have you ever finished a novel in a day? oh yeah
07. Have you ever been streaking? no
08. Have you ever been drunk? hahaha I don't drink
09. Have you ever fell in public? are you kidding? It's a hobby of mine
10. Have you ever fell asleep in class? not really since high school, but I sort of slip in and out occasionally
ARE YOU
01. Are you missing someone right now? yes!!! so much!!!
02. Are you talking to anyone? not this second
03. Are you German? nope
04. Are you Italian?: regretably
05. Are you Polish? nope
06. Are you Russian?: nope
07. Are you Norwegian?: Nope
08. Are you Lebanese?: Nope
09. Are you a silly person? you could definitely say that
10. Are your parents still married? yesss...strange, I know.
11. Do you have a low self esteem? somewhat, yeah
12. Do you get depressed about things easily? eh, depends
13. Do you live life to the fullest? I try
14. Are you comfortable with the way you look? eh, more so now
15. How do you dress? yeah um...in clothes
16. Are you scared of growing up old and alone? I'm gonna throw up a little. no, I don't ever plan on getting old.
17. What do you want to be when you grow up? social worker
18. Favorite season?: winter/fall
19. Favorite colors? pink and black
20.Are you a vegetarian? nope. I love meat
21. Current song your listening to? Godfathers Lollipop-Shabutie |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
sigh_at_me's journal